Ship Review - Day 2
RSI Aurora
Cost: $25
Guns: 2 and some missiles
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Surprisingly, yes
Speed: Moderate
Reviewer's thoughts: This is probably going to be my most positive review in the whole series. First up, the negative- this ship is ugly as sin. It looks like someone took a radioisotope thermoelectric generator and stuck a cockpit on it. It looks like an overpriced kitchen gadget. It looks like someone said "How many wings is too many? Let's find out." For all that, this is a very effective ship! It has great visibility, it is moderately fast, it can carry a small load of trade cargo, you can put a box inside the cockpit area for courier missions- it even has a bed, if they ever bother to fix the log-out functionality. It has a couple token size-1 guns on it, but this thing is essentially tissue paper so fighting with it will get you killed. And, as compared to every other ship in the game, it is cheap as poo poo. You could fly 10 of these for the price of one Constellation, if you found 10 people willing to put up with the game long enough to load them all. At one point this was the chariot of choice for ram-griefing, but that particular pastime has been nerfed to the point that it doesn't seem to work at all anymore. If you have to give money to Chris Roberts, and I really heartily recommend not doing so, this is probably the ship to get. There are like 5 variants of this thing but they are all exactly the same with slight loadout changes, and loadouts don't matter in Star Citizen, so gently caress you if you think I'm wasting half an hour taking pictures of all of them.
RSI Ursa
Cost: $50
Guns: 2 in a little auto turret
Can It Do Anything But Fight: It can't even fight
Speed: Ground based
Reviewer's thoughts: All of the vehicles in this game seem like art assets in search of a mechanic. Of the three I've tried- Tumbril, Dragonfly, and Ursa- the Ursa seems like the best. It can carry a bunch of people or a box, it has a little gun turret, it does not immediately explode on impact with rocks. But... there's nothing in the game that requires ground vehicles. There are no missions requiring ground combat. There are no deliveries where you'd need to get out of your ship in a rover and haul a box anywhere. There's nothing to discover while exploring. Even mining is done via a ship. So what use is it? I'll tell you- it's extremely good for cramming into your gaping, aching cargo hold. The ultimate measure of any ship in Star Citizen is how many Ursas and Merlins you can wedge in there. I mean it's still going to jitter around and clip through poo poo and probably explode, but... it's not like you have a choice, if you want to put stuff in your holes.
Picture not foundRSI Constellation Taurus
Cost: $150
Guns: No idea
Can It Do Anything But Fight: It doesn't exist
Speed: Sluggish
Reviewer's thoughts: This one is weird. It is the only variant I know of that costs less than the original ship. It is a stripped down Constellation for significantly cheaper, that I guess is supposed to be more trade oriented? It's so unpopular that I'm not even sure it exists in the game. It certainly didn't exist on the showroom floor, so I don't have a picture of it. Oh well. Buy this if you want a ship that does what the Constellation does, only worse in every single aspect, but I guess you can cram more trade goods into it, but trade doesn't work and bulk trading is completely broken. The frogurt is also cursed.
RSI Constellation Andromeda
Cost: $225
Guns: 4 gimbal, 2x2 manned turrets, 50+ missiles
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Yes
Speed: Sluggish
Reviewer's thoughts: This was my baby, when the game was first announced. It was billed as the Millenium Falcon of Star Citizen and was basically sold as the "top of the line" back when the "line" was like, 7 ships. It could carry a crew of 4 or 5, it could do cargo, it had a shitload of guns, it had lots of missiles, it had a little detachable fighter in the back. Of course, since then CIG has spent the last 6 years selling ship after ship, something like 100+ ships now, and obviously one of the earliest and cheapest of the big ships could not be allowed a dominant position in the pile. This ship has seen more nerfs and been outclassed by more ships that do exactly what it does, but better in every sense, than any other ship in the game. On top of that, the manned turrets turned out to be giant shitpiles that nobody wants to use, and they never even bothered to get the detachable fighter working. Today this ship is a two hundred dollar joke. It has four giant guns that can't hit anything because it turns like a shopping cart full of bricks. It has paper-thin shields and will die to any fighter in the game in a few shots. It still has 50 missiles, and you can fire all 50 and not do a single point of damage. There are ships that are literally just this ship but functional, and they all cost 300 or more dollars. This ship is the epitome of Star Citizen in my opinion- originally sold for a crazy amount, it was released as complete garbage, never updated or made effective, and has been completely overshadowed by stuff that costs twice as much in a game that just doesn't give a poo poo about your old money.
RSI Constellation Aquila
Cost: $310
Guns: 4 gimbal, 1x2 manned turrets, 50+ missiles
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Yes
Speed: Sluggish
Reviewer's thoughts: CIG was experimenting with variants when they made these, and didn't know what people would or wouldn't pay money for. They thought "Same ship with different loadouts" was a good model, so... it's the Constellation! Again! But for 100 dollars more, and they took one of the turrets out for a "Radar" that doesn't work, and also you get a rover I think if you buy this one, but the rover doesn't work in the cargo hold of the Constellation, and is only 50 bucks on its own, so why wouldn't you buy the regular ship and then the rover separately and save yourself 40 bucks? Because you're a loving idiot, that's why. This ship comes with a slightly different, rounded cockpit. Also it has a blue and orange paint job. It is effectively just the Constellation and it sucks just as bad, but for more money.
RSI Constellation Phoenix
Cost: $350
Guns: 4 gimbal, 1x2 manned turrets, missiles
Can It Do Anything But Fight: Yes
Speed: Sluggish
Reviewer's thoughts: The Phoenix was originally sold as an up-gunned Constellation for like, armored personnel transport and VIP limo duties, in a game where there aren't any VIP's or personnel to transport. But it was still an interesting concept, and the thought of "Constellation but more dakka" was appealing at the time because the Constellation hadn't been poo poo on from a great height at that point. Of course, years later the ship actually came out, and... well, look at the picture. It's a flying bar and lounge. None of the extra equipment ever materialized, and this thing is essentially worthless except as a way to flash your cash wad. You cannot transport VIP's, it fights as poorly as a regular Constellation, and costs 125 dollars more. Not because of any mechanics- because it is "Luxury." Chris literally prices poo poo in-game based on aesthetic priorities, regardless of mechanics, because he is completely detached from the concept of value. It is particularly galling how much time has clearly been put into poo poo like whiskey tumblers and the animated hot tub in this ship, when basic mechanics are completely broken and the game barely functions. It is extremely revealing of CIG's priorities- they are a used luxury car dealership first and foremost, and they have gradually self-selected an audience that thinks used luxury cars belong in spaceship game. Everyone who still owns one of these is an unbearable twat and I consider these and all other luxury vessels in the game kill-on-sight.
