Author Topic: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within  (Read 85669 times)

dsmart

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Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #62 on: August 22, 2017, 10:09:46 AM »
Wait! You thought I was making it up when I said the 3.0 build WAS NOT at GC?

https://twitter.com/Vinsentto/status/900037332207906816


Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #63 on: August 22, 2017, 10:16:07 AM »
The faces of two scam artists (brothers) who have thus far ripped off gamers to the tune of $156M.

Chris (left) used over $75M of backer money to build a studio for brother Erin (right) in the UK. A studio that has NO reason to exist.

That UK studio, the largest of the 4 involved in Star Citizen, burns through over 75% of the project's yearly funding.

Erin, as per the 2016 financials, makes over $300K a year. Excluding benefits. In 6 yrs + $156M, they have yet to ship a SINGLE game.



http://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/899993868820774913/photo/1

UPDATE: Goon version.



Meanwhile, elsewhere...

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I can understand if you think the pay is too high, though.
That is fairly delusional. £142k per year puts you in the top 1% of earners in the UK, and Erin is on twice that. His CV before CIG consists of 14 years of forgettable lego games.

It isnít a matter of Ďthinkingí his pay is too high, his pay is objectively far higher than he would ever receive in an open job market. You really arenít doing yourself any favours in being a reasonable counterpoint to all the naysayers when you come out with nonsense like that. First you tried to argue that he wasnít receiving that much and then you try to argue that it isnít actually that much. Youíre quite clearly goalpost moving.

The Star Citizen project took in $36million in 2016. Almost 1% of the entire money taken in by the project went to one Director in their UK subsidiary - and you think that thatís reasonable.
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

Motto

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #64 on: August 22, 2017, 11:10:16 AM »
Luckily, we'll see the daily revenu stats shooting for the stars again, because, you know, stuff. Like a fully working, not pre-sliced, not pre-load, fully delta-patched, massive online pre-stage alpha 3.0 build. That'll be worth a JPEG of $ 400,- at the minimum  :dance:

Show.... me.... the.... MONEY!

No, seriously, show me the money. I need it. I need it now. I fucked up. Again! Gimme! Look at those pretty pictures and those specially build separate R&D levels. Can't you see the game that I envision(ed) through them? I'll polish them and show them again at ShitizenCon in October. With more fidelity! That worked last year too!


dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #66 on: August 22, 2017, 02:17:42 PM »
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #67 on: August 23, 2017, 06:53:14 AM »
Today's live stream (on-going) is an embarrassment of lols. You can watch on Twitch or YouTube (below)


The highlights:

- The full 3.0 client is NOT being played. Just as I stated. So you won't be seeing ANY of the game loop I listed here
- They have a single moon "level", Daymar, where everyone spawns
- No PU and/or space travel, means that's it: a single moon. You don't see ANY of the full game loop
- They have to reset the server every 15 mins. Ponder that
- Repeated crashes (seemingly every 10 minutes), hard locks etc
- Only 8-12 clients are allowed to connect
- The Mobiglass they have been touting, and which is currently marked as complete? DISABLED
- You can see all the glitches (e.g. DJ Knight trying to get into vehicle without success), rubbish dynamics model, terrain clipping, no-clip modeling, no damage collision on terrain, no fps damage etc. I will post some clips later, but here are some for now: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Worst part? The current 2.6.3 game isn't even playable at the show. So for the next 3 days, they're going to be playing this ganky bullshit on repeat. And still no word of SQ42.

As I said yesterday, they basically came to GamesCom 2017 with a big CryEngine level. That's it. No full 3.0 game..

Also, they aren't showing ANY of the gameplay features because, well, they simply aren't there. No trading. No cargo manipulation. No missions. No AI entities. No Mobiglass. No gameplay loop. No QD. No gravity. Like nothing - AT ALL.

Basically, since they're using a moon "level" which isn't attached to anything, there is no need for QT as there's nothing to travel to.

Lando is basically choreographing the stream, just like they do when Chris is on stage. As soon as something is about to glitch, they switch cameras. It's the same old thing all over again. DECEPTION.

Oh and...

- They introduced trading cards. TRADING CARDS!
- They are giving out QR codes which give access to an exclusive...wait for it...SHIP SALE!

Remember when I said that 3.0 didn't exist? And it's been almost a year? And that they didn't even have 3.0 in ANY playable form ready for release? Well, you're seeing it. And this goes back to sources saying that 3.0 to be released in ANY reasonable playable form, needs at least SIX more months. And even then, that's if they can fix the INSURMOUNTABLE engine issues.

This is why sources were saying that it's likely that streamers would be playing 2.6.3 and that if they attempted 3.0, which wasn't ready, it would be a disaster.

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According to my sources, nobody quite knows what to do about GamesCom yet. And that was the same sentiment just last week!

They won't be doing any R&D demos this time apparently. But though my sources claim that rumors suggesting that streamers will be playing 2.6.3 during the show are false, one specific source has said that the goal is to live play sessions of 3.0 running in the same manner that they have done in the past. So far no word on whether or not streamers will be allowed to play it; either live during the show, or in closed sessions. Especially since it's still running at around 10 fps when you hit the moon. And that's on a LAN (which is what they will be running at the show).

So far, no word on SQ42.

Ask yourself this. WHERE is the build that GameStar.de and PC Gamer reportable played MONTHS ago, and in which at least PC Gamer claimed to have been able to fly in space, land on a moon etc. This is my exchange with Chris Livingston from PC Gamer who wrote this article this past July. And NONE of what you see here from the article, is actually in the game. Those are ALL bull shots.

This 3.0 build as explained by Lando @ 17:31


What you are seeing is Star Citizen after SIX YEARS + $156M.

This is what the Star Citizen Reddit looks like - right now.

This is what Spectrum looks like - right now.

Anyone who, for one minute, though a "game" was ever coming from this, is an ignorant fool.

A word from our sponsors. A FLYING ground rover.



Goon compilation of hilarity:

Quote
Flying rover clipping into mountain - https://clips.twitch.tv/SweetSneakyHawkDansGame

Crash - https://clips.twitch.tv/SpookyCuteHorseBigBrother

Doors Fucked - https://clips.twitch.tv/ChillyPiercingNikudonCoolStoryBro

Balsa Wood Physics - https://clips.twitch.tv/RockyStrongWaffleLitFam

Still Invulnerable - https://clips.twitch.tv/PoliteSuspiciousCheesecakeOptimizePrime

Cool Desync Bro - https://clips.twitch.tv/LovelyRenownedDogePJSalt

Ram Clipping - https://clips.twitch.tv/TangentialHumbleSardinePipeHype

Animation Jank - https://clips.twitch.tv/AnnoyingPlacidMartenTBTacoLeft

Rover = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/IdioticIdealFanworms

Crash = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/SillyFriendlyDegus

Trapped = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/FakeUnitedCuckoo

Physics = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/ShrillTalkativeGavial

IDDQD = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/CheeryNaiveBabirusa

Desync = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/AcceptableFatalDrafthorse

Clippy = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/SinfulNauticalFurseal

Jank = https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/EminentUnripeChinesecrocodilelizard



UPDATED:

More hilarious highlights.





« Last Edit: August 23, 2017, 04:58:36 PM by dsmart »
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #68 on: August 23, 2017, 07:16:14 AM »


Quote
One guy went to space outside the atmosphere, tried to EVA and found out that the demo level has no space in it anyway, just a simple gravity constant that pushes things down regardless of altitude/speed.

He promptly proceeded to fall towards the ground, while trying to swim frantically.

The other guy saw him and started moving towards his ship (which just froze in place above the planet since the pilot ejected). Then he proceeded to crash (blue text on the bottom), the camera moved again to the swimming guy (with lando trying to change the narrative), and then the server got reset all-together.

Pretty adorable gameplay.



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If ever there was a time to not feel bad about whales it's now. They just learned that 3.0 is now estimated for December 2017. A patch that a year ago they were told should be out Dec 2016. Instead of asking for accountability, or even just asking where the fuck 85% of 3.0 is, they're making a mad dash for their wallet to give Chris more money. Reason has failed. Pity serves no one's interest. Laughing is pretty much the only sane thing left to do.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2017, 07:20:19 AM by dsmart »
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #69 on: August 23, 2017, 07:18:29 AM »
Watch Brian Chambers, head of F42-GER studio for 45 mins unable to answer a SINGLE question. Starts @ 08:00

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/169158701?t=08m33s
« Last Edit: August 23, 2017, 07:21:20 AM by dsmart »
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #71 on: August 23, 2017, 09:40:55 AM »
Just FF to 2:34:34 as Lando explains how what was streamed today (and tomorrow), is the actual 3.0 build. But wait! On Friday Chris Roberts is going to be showing the REAL stuff.

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/169133635

Wait! There's more. Friday is just a noisy distraction, but with Almighty Chris Roberts.

It's going to be HILARIOUS to see how they explain a presentation with Chris Roberts showing stuff that's "disabled" in the Wed/Thurs stream, but is somehow magically "working" in the Friday build.

Not to mention that whole thing about them being disabled in order to have people "see & interact with each other"

And this isn't even the apex of the E.L.E. No, that's still coming.

« Last Edit: August 23, 2017, 09:44:43 AM by dsmart »
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #72 on: August 23, 2017, 10:17:47 AM »
The best part is people defending the lack of features. Since it would be impossible to show all of SC, it's logical that they only opened a little bit so everyone can experience SC for 10 minutes.

The fact that there is nothing more to experience, no, that not true. This current showcasing is by design. The constant rebooting too, this allows a new batch of players in. The same reason no more than 12 players are allowed. On the LAN setup. Uhhuh, and this is to become the BDSSE. Yeah, right  :doh:

These people deserve to be robbed of their money. If you're that stupid  :doh:

dsmart

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Re: GamesCom 2017 - The Hilarity Within
« Reply #73 on: August 23, 2017, 11:31:59 AM »
The best part is people defending the lack of features. Since it would be impossible to show all of SC, it's logical that they only opened a little bit so everyone can experience SC for 10 minutes.

The fact that there is nothing more to experience, no, that not true. This current showcasing is by design. The constant rebooting too, this allows a new batch of players in. The same reason no more than 12 players are allowed. On the LAN setup. Uhhuh, and this is to become the BDSSE. Yeah, right  :doh:

These people deserve to be robbed of their money. If you're that stupid  :doh:

It really is a LOT worse than that, and this stream proves it. Not to mention the fact that, what they had to show of 3.0 was basically Arena Commander on a barren moon.
Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

dsmart

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Star Citizen isn't a game. It's a TV show about a bunch of characters making a game. It's basically "This is Spinal Tap" - except people think the band is real.

 

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